These Are Lists

Top Ten Things In Which To Exercise Snobbery!

1. Alcohol: Drink the good stuff and act like it is a matter of sanctification.

2. Books: There should be no patience for foolish reading. Reverse the social apparatus back to time when intellectuals were thought of as “dashing” rather than “nerdy.”  

3. Music: There is delight in introducing a song, album, or artist to the ignorant, to play the role of a god gifting the mortal with a prize for continued quality life. Oh, how I have been on the low side of this so often and I love it. The world of fine music overwhelms me… the art seems to be expanding like the universe.    

4. Film: Mostly because this is poor movie watching culture. Also, it is a matter of beauty and story. People no longer have the patience for something that is good. Films are important and we should scoff at the suggestion that they are for mere entertainment. Though, a vice here and again in this category is welcomed in order to make us human. 

5. Tea: Just so we can throw around words like Mate, Darjeeling, and Genmaicha, and Rooibos. Oh, the joy of foreign words that others do not understand.   

6. Cheese: Offer a Stilton to a novice, sit back, and enjoy the contorted face; then respond with an acclamation of praise for the pungent, strong, distinct block as you partake. Look indignantly upon your pupil and let him feel less than human. How great it is to be a snob.  

7. Computers: Now that I own a mac…

8. Journals and Pens: There is nothing more pretentious than recording your own words with the finest paper, binding and ink. We must act as if our words will be cherished by the world long after we are dead. Glorious! 

9. Fashion: Especially shoes deserve its due. People continue to be obsessive over something that is meant to be so practical. I believe that is the definition of snobbery. I, for one, embrace it.

10. Wood: To be able to say, “Oh, what a fine walnut cabinet!” Or, “I immensely enjoy this classic poplar carrel desk.” There are only a few more satisfying things in life than to know that a piece of furniture in your home is the real deal, solid wood that will be around for generations. Also, there is nothing more interesting than the word sassafras!!! 

Current NBA Uniform Rankings, 1-30

Posting the Uni Watch link in my Tumblr inspired me to make a list, ranking all current NBA uniforms. Colors, design, lettering, etc. are all taken into account. The top uniforms on this list turned out mostly to be more classic-looking jerseys. 

1. Boston Celtics (When they wear their classic greens, it’s a thing to behold. The new green & black version is disgraceful. Oh, and my favorite part of the jersey - the shamrock on the back.)

2. Los Angeles Lakers (So recognizable. And they’ve managed not to ruin the classic look.)

3. Chicago Bulls (Something just real nice about the simplicity of these. They probably remind me of ol’ Mike. Oh, and the best part is the bull on the shorts sides.)

4. Detroit Pistons (They make the plain primary blue & red look great with a sleek design. Not sure I like that word very much. Sleek.)

5. San Antonio Spurs (Have these jerseys ever changed? No need to answer that really. Just a great look. Good colors.)

6. Denver Nuggets (I guess I’m just a sucker for powder blue. Or for Denver. Or something. The alternate jerseys are nice, too. They look smooth when they play in these jerseys. - Also the early 90s jerseys were some of the best ever.)

7. New York Knicks (Not my favorite color scheme, but it’s really worked for years. They can never change this. It’s one of the bedrocks of NBA uniforms. It makes any basketball fan reminisce on the Knicks of his day.)

8. Dallas Mavericks (A design that hasn’t really worn off. The green alternates are quality. The jerseys are fitting for an up-tempo team like Dallas. By the way, their previous jerseys were among the worst of their day.)

9. Toronto Raptors (When the Raptors first became a team, I was in first grade. I thought the cartoon raptor guy was the coolest thing ever!! Those were so ridiculous they aren’t even embarrassing. The memory of those jerseys made it hard for me to put the Raptors even this high. I reallllly like the red & black look. Very glad they nixed purple.)

10. Houston Rockets (Nice simple colors. Nice nod to China for giving them a franchise player. Very good choice. Anything looks good after the goofy pinstripes of yesteryear.)

11. Miami Heat (These guys haven’t changed much in their 20ish years. The road jerseys are solid.)

12. Seattle Sonics (I’m glad they went back to the 80s-esque look. The Space Needle jersey was awful.) 

13. Portland Trailblazers (A real classy look. I always disliked the color scheme when I was young, but I think it’s pretty snazzy now. Plus Greg Oden wears it so IT’S COOL. Grown on me more than almost any other jersey.)

14. Indiana Pacers (Five years ago, we’re talking Pacers top 3. The pinstripes were tough to beat. These jerseys have no real distinguishing factor except that the colors are still great. The old pinstripe Pacer teams - with Smits, Jackson, Miller, etc - were classy like their jerseys. This team is full of nobodies that no one will remember, just like this jersey. A neutral look, really.)

15. Cleveland Cavaliers (I’m sure lots of people have this top five or ten. It’s just gotten old to me. The blue alternate is an improvement, though. I may be way off on this one. One thing though, they needed a new image with LeBron and I guess they got it. And at least it’s original. Underrated by me, I guess.)

16. New Orleans Hornets (I really can’t decide on this. I kind of like it, but I’m wondering if the teal is cheesy. Same with the yellow. Chris Paul makes anything look good, maybe.)

17. Utah Jazz (This maybe should be a lot higher. I like it quite a bit, but it remains to be seen whether the color scheme will last.)

18. Los Angeles Clippers (I like that the cursive lettering has remained. It’s a more classic look mixed with a contemporary jersey style. Not bad.)

19. New Jersey Nets (The argyle-ish side of the jerseys is a nice touch. The colors are decent. The jersey is a classic look that is a recent development. My hate for New Jersey teams has probably tainted its ranking.)

20. Orlando Magic (It’s a decent jersey, but there’s not much character to it. I actually liked the jerseys before that had the stars in the jersey background. A guilty jersey pleasure, perhaps. Dwight Howard makes these look better though.)

21. Philadelpha 76ers (Eh, I used to like these somewhat. I hate that they have the sleeveless cut-off look. Plus I can’t associate this jersey with Allen Iverson any more, so what’s the use? I really think they should get a new jersey design with the simple red, white, and blue colors of old.)

22. Golden State Warriors (My favorite team in the league but the more I think about the jerseys, the more I have to say that they’re not so great. I really loved these as a kid, though. They get bumped up about 3 spots because I like them.)

23. Memphis Grizzlies (Nothing that jumps out much here. It serves. Obviously it’s an improvement from the old unis. Not saying much though.)

24. Phoenix Suns (A lot of people really like these. The shiny look with these jerseys plus the color scheme just doesn’t do it for me. They need to figure something else out.)

25. Atlanta Hawks (Way too safe. They didn’t go for anything here, and they didn’t get much. Plain and forgettable.)

26. Sacramento Kings (Kind of dull. The gold jerseys are just okay. If they went just purple and white, losing the black, they might figure something out. They seem to be going for a trendy contemporary look with the ancient concept “Kings.” They should catch on and make this a real classic design. They could have a top 5 or 6 jersey if they tried.)

27. Washington Wizards (So goofy. Used to be one of my faves. I even had a Webber jersey. The alternate jersey is a step in the right direction though. They need to lose the zany font.)

28. Milwaukee Bucks (Too new for me to rank high. Don’t like the cut-off look. At least the colors are better than the old purple-and-green.)

29. Minnesota Timberwolves (At one time I thought these were the coolest. Then I grew up. People are going to look back at these unis and giggle. Plus, KG isn’t there anymore to make people overlook this fault. It’s a new era, and time for a new jersey.)

30. Charlotte Bobcats (Nothing distinguishable at all. Forgettable. It almost makes me wish they weren’t an NBA team.)

People whose names I laugh at when hearing:

This is a list of the people that, when I hear their name, I instinctively laugh for no other reason but that they are somehow inherently funny. Not that the name is necessarily funny, but there is some perhaps indefinable quality about them that makes me laugh. So here is the list (which probably never ends).

Wesley Snipes (could have something to do with the fact that I occasionally use his name as an adjective, ex: “Wesley Snipes black”)

Michael J. Fox (I’d like to think the Parkinson’s)

Margaret Thatcher (First British PM? That’s funny, right?)

Kirk Cameron (Come on. You laughed too.)

Danny Tamberelli

Billy Ray Cyrus

Gary Coleman (What’chu talkin’ bout, Willis?)

Mr. T

Michael Bolton

Patsy Cline

Neil Diamond

Tina Turner

Paul Poteet

Cherokee Parks

…And many more

My Favorite Songs By Letter

These are my favorite songs out of all the songs that start with the same letter (that I can think of). Some of these were bloody hard. 

A - All the Young Dudes - Mott the Hoople

B - Ballad of a Thin Man - Bob Dylan

C - Chicago - Sufjan Stevens

D - Down on the Corner - CCR

E - Everything Is - Neutral Milk Hotel

F - Falling Slowly - Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

G - Give Peace A Chance - John Lennon

H - Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

I - I’m Looking Through You - The Beatles

J - July, July - The Decemberists

K - King of Carrot Flowers - Neutral Milk Hotel

L -  Like A Rolling Stone - Bob Dylan

M - My Sweet Lord - George Harrison

N - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels) - Arcade Fire

O - Oblivion - The Cartographers

P - Positively 4th Street - Bob Dylan

Q - Quinn The Eskimo - Bob Dylan 

R - Ruby Tuesday - Rolling Stones

S - Sweet Jane - Velvet Underground

T -  The Times They Are A-Changin’ - Bob Dylan

U - Us Ones In Between - Sunset Rubdown

V - The Village Green Preservation Society - The Kinks

W - We Shall Overcome - Pete Seeger

X - X&Y - Coldplay

Y - Your Mother Should Know - The Beatles

Z - Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie 

-Jordan 

Top 5 Television Show Themes

Criteria: 

1.  I must like this show. 
2. The show’s music must match the general feeling given by the show. 
3. Note: This list is by no means ranking the shows overall. 

1. The West Wing - A beautiful, patriotic tune that makes me want to vote for something. 
2. Extras - The end theme “Tea for the Tillerman” by Cat Stevens fits perfect with the shenanigans of the essentially pathetic Andy Millman. 
3. The Sopranos - A bass heavy theme that simultaneously makes me feel powerful, but also kind of grungy. 
4. Six Feet Under - A haunting theme that is mysterious yet upbeat. It fits well with the show’s dark comic attitude. 
5. Weeds - This Showtime show often makes fun of the suburbs and the theme reflects that. Extra respect added for getting a different artist to do the theme in every episode of the second season and onward. 

Top 32 Bands/ Artists with Animal Names

Favorite, I mean. Tell me if I’m forgetting any big ones.

1. Modest Mouse
2. Animal Collective
3. Panda Bear
4. Neil Young & Crazy Horse
5. Wolf Parade
6. Band of Horses
7. Howlin’ Wolf
8. The Mountain Goats
9. Cat Stevens
10. Andrew Bird
11. Grizzly Bear
12. The Animals
13. Peter and the Wolf
14. Deerhunter
15. Dinosaur Jr.
16. The Yardbirds
17. Cat Power
18. Swan Lake
19. Bowerbirds
20. The Eagles
21. Pedro the Lion
22. Fleet Foxes
23. Arctic Monkeys
24. Super Furry Animals
25. Deerhoof
26. The Penguins
27. Red Pony Clock
28. Frog Eyes
29. The Black Crowes
30. Gorillaz
31. Antsy Pants
32. Steppenwolf

My Top 11 Favorite Cereals

My favorite cereals regardless of nutritional value— based solely on taste. Longevity and aesthetic value are taken into account.

1. Frosted Mini Wheats

2. Froot Loops

3. Honey Nut Clusters

4. Team Cheerios (discontinued, unfortunately) 

5. Berry Berry Kix

6. Rice Krispies Treats Cereal

7.  Cinnamon Life

8. Nestle NesQuik

9. Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch (a Christmas tradition)

10. Honey Bunches of Oats

11. French Toast Crunch

Honorable Mention: Chocolate Flakes (chocolate version of Frosted Flakes - really good for some reason) 

Cereal I most want to try: Mr. T Cereal (“Teamin’ up with Mr. T!”)

Least favorite cereal of all time: Oreo O’s 

-Jordan 

MY Top 5 Dylan Songs

My Top 5 Favorite Bob Dylan songs in order. This list is surprisingly similar to Cory’s.

1. The Times They Are A-Changin’

2. Hurricane

3. Ballad of a Thin Man

4. Positively 4th Street

5. Like a Rolling Stone

[Honorable Mention] - Blowin’ in the Wind 

-Jordan 

My 17* Favorite Songs

This is a bold step, but here it is.

Criterion: my favorite songs, listed in order of most favorite.

1. Ruby Tuesday (Rolling Stones) - Such a pretty little song that makes me smile every time

2. The Times They Are A-Changin’ (Bob Dylan) - It can be sung by anyone and still be amazing. I especially like Richie Havens’ and Keb’ Mo’s renditions.

3. Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley) - Epic. The saddest song I can think of.

4. Hurricane (Bob Dylan) - The story he tells in this song is great. This is probably my first favorite Dylan song.

5. Ballad of a Thin Man (Bob Dylan) - Love the piano here, and his lyrics are crazy. Plus, he played this when I went to his concert. 

6. All the Young Dudes (Mott the Hoople) - I don’t know why, but I love this song.

7. Sweet Jane (Velvet Underground) - Terrific guitar work and the lyrics pwn. Impossible not to tap your toes or bob your head upon hearing this song. For me at least.

8. I’m Looking Through You (Beatles) - Many Beatles songs could be this high, but this one is always the first one on my mind.

9. Neighborhood #1 - Tunnels (Arcade Fire) - I always think of Cory’s movie when I hear this. Very reminiscent of senior year. 

10. Your Mother Should Know (Beatles) - This song is representing my favorite Beatles album, Magical Mystery Tour. This really is a song my mother should know.

11. Us Ones In Between (Sunset Rubdown) - Groovy piano. Some very slick lyrics.

12. Ziggy Stardust (David Bowie) - David Bowie is wild.

13. Southern Comfort (Arrah and the Ferns) - My favorite from their album. Levi, Cory, Trujillo, James, and I found them at the art museum. A very enjoyable song and album.

14. The Boxer (Simon and Garfunkel) - They have beautiful voices.

15. I am John (Loney, Dear) - I love the way it builds up. I don’t know if it’s possible to get tired of it.

16. July, July (Decemberists) - First song of theirs to grab my attention. So peppy. Probably my favorite current band now.

*17. Nicole (Love & Magic) - Obviously.

-Jordan